I am sorry that you seem to be having trouble getting a diagnosis for your problems, but an online forum like eXtension can only offer advice as we, for the most part, are not medical professionals and are not qualified to offer such advice.
Have you had a medical professional, such as a veterinarian and a dermatologist, diagnose the problem as mites?
If not, the advice I *can* offer you, is that you should 1. take the dog to a veterinarian and 2. you should visit a dermatologist as both doctors can perform diagnostic tests to determine what pests, such as Sarcoptes, Demodex, fleas, and/or allergens, are causing you two discomfort.
The number one step in effective pest management is accurate pest ID. You must identify the pest properly in order to know how to effectively treat the pest and to be successful in the management of that pest. Pesticide (ANY chemical used to treat a pest) treatments without accurate pest identification are rarely effective and can sometimes exacerbate problems, so stop treating until you identify what you are dealing with. Visits to both the veterinarian and the dermatologist for identification of you and your dog's problems are the appropriate first steps in your management plan.