Is he conservative or is there something wrong with him?

Asked January 16, 2017, 10:19 AM EST

My friend has been dating this Polish man for more than a year and a half. He had an ex-wife and a son of 18 years old. But he's super sensitve to sex topics. My friend says he never talks about it.

There's one time my friend was watching a video about girls being interviewed about the things they do to make their boyfriends desire them. The interview itself was actually hilarious. My friend laughed a lot while watching the video. Her boyfriend got curious and asked her what she was watching. His face turned literally red after he found out what the video was about. My friend was suprised and confused, and told me about it.

For myself I just can't believe that a man who is in his late 40s, with a son who is in college, will still blush at something so harmless.

Is there something wrong with him or this is simply natural for a polish man?

Outside United States

1 Response

Each individual adult has a different level of comfort with discussions around sexuality. This level of comfort often stems from how sex discussions were handled in their family growing, whether they may have had some education regarding discussions with children and adolescents, and personal experience in these kinds of discussion. Research in the U.S. indicates that mothers more frequently have discussion with their children about sexuality but more so with their daughters than sons. Additionally the kinds of topics discussed with a mother vs. a father differs. Moms are more likely to discuss a broader realm - factual information, social sexual (values, morals) and later social issues (abortion, unwed motherhood, promiscuity) while Dads more frequently talked about social sexual or the family values. Again, different studies identified that there were variations about the content of discussions for mothers and fathers with their sons and daughters.
Other considerations in this circumstance are cultural norms for different nationalities/cultures, role models while growing up, and the environmental setting at the time of discussion. If one grows up in a family or cultural setting where discussing sexuality was a taboo then it may be difficult to engage in conversations even if one has been a parent/spouse. When we lack role models for behavior or are placed in a situation where a subject might be uncomfortable, again this can be a circumstance where one may feel embarrassed. Most of us find that under certain situations there are topics that arise where we may feel some embarrassment. That is not an indication there is something wrong with us.