Feeling forced and stuck

Asked July 25, 2016, 10:09 PM EDT

Hi there. Unable to find work in my own country, I decided to look for work in South Korea. I don't like being here (its my 3rd time here) but I really need the money. The problem is that I had to leave my 2 daughters behind with my parents. I am a single parent and am financially responsible for my daughters, my parents and my brother. When I looked around me and saw just how everyone was struggling financially I knew I had to make the move. However, I don't know how I'm going to survive this. I'll be gone for a stretch of 1 year at a time and then will only see them for 2 weeks after that year. Already the youngest (she'll be 2 soon) is behaving differently and angry all the time from what I've been told. The other one is taking off sick from school which she would never usually do and has been begging me to take her out of school and wants to move to Korea to be with me. That is not an option as I just don't have the money to bring them here and I also wouldn't want to have them in a strange country where foreigners don't seem to have many rights. If anything happened to me while they were here, they'd have nobody to turn to. I cannot explain how miserable, sad, lonely, worried, etc I am. All I seem to do is cry. I don't even want to look at pictures of my babies because it actually makes me feel physical pain. I know we need the money but I am so torn. I try to keep busy but they are constantly on my mind. What should I do? I feel like either way I'm a bad mother. If I go back to them I'll be a broke mother who cannot provide for them. If I stay I'll be an absent mother to a large extent.

Outside United States family caregiving

2 Responses

So sorry for your struggles. This not generally the kind of questions I answer, however, my response to you is this.

Mediate on your situation....list pros and cons of your situation

Seek counseling

I truly believe you can find a job you are qualified for, if you aren't qualified, seek education and move forward.

Be the best you can be at what ever you decide.

Think positive, rather than negative. Your child of 2 is really acting normally as well as the older child. However, as a mom, I no you are torn.

Find what makes you happy and don't look back.

Move forward and you will progress.

Thank you for your response