I’m in love with my teacher and do you think he loves me too

Asked June 25, 2015, 3:13 AM EDT

So this whole thing started last fall. I had just started high school and had this gorgeous 9th grade math teacher. He looked like he was in his mid 20s. Unfortunately, I wasn’t really good at math so I couldn’t impress him. But, fortunately, he was offering private tuitions. So, my mom hired him to help me out on Saturdays. This gave me the chance to have alone time with him and get to know him personally.

He gave tuitions at a coffee shop and we would always sit right next to the window. He was really cool. We had short breaks and during those short breaks he would tell me funny stories or we would talk about movies and music. It was after winter holidays that I finally opened up to him. But, I didn’t do it face to face. I sent him a text. His reply was: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I already have a girlfriend and it’s a serious relationship. But, I appreciate your honesty. ”. My heart sank and I froze in complete utter shock. I had no idea he was in a relationship. I was in tears. After a while I started thinking. Was he really in a relationship or did he just make that up? Did I just make a huge mistake sending him that text? Will I ever see him again? I had checked his facebook profile and it didn’t say anything about his relationship status. I also didn’t find any pics of him alone with a girl. If he really was in a serious relationship wouldn’t he have mentioned it on his profile and wouldn’t he have added pics of his gf?

The tuitions still continued. He didn’t say anything about the text to my mom or me. Everything was the same. I was a little upset that he didn’t’ talk about it with me. Why didn’t he? And, why he acted so normal? Pretending nothing happened. Why did he still continue offering me tuitions? Was it for the money or was it because he secretly liked me and didn’t want to admit it? Does he really have a gf? If he doesn't then why did he lie to me? All this is really frustrating me. Just knowing that he is attracted to me would really make my day.

Santa Clara County California

1 Response

I am glad that you are asking about this and hope my answer is helpful. I think it is really normal to have feelings for someone who is helping you especially when you find him easy to talk to.
People who go to school to become teachers do so because they like helping kids and as a math teacher he probably really likes helping kids to enjoy math just like he does. Teachers also learn a code of ethics which are guidelines on how to behave with students. Some of the guidelines make sure that both the student and the teacher are protected. That is probably why he does tutoring in a coffee shop and why he doesn't put his status in his Facebook profile. Teachers can lose their jobs and their teaching license if they aren't careful to follow the guidelines. Not saying anything about it to you may have been so you weren't embarrassed.
I strongly encourage you to talk to a trusted adult about your feelings, there is no need to be embarrassed, your feelings are normal. Can you talk to your Mom or an aunt or one of the counselors at school? Sorting out your feelings with an adult will help you put things in perspective and hopefully understand why your teacher needs to keep his personal life separate from his professional life. I hope that has been helpful.